Naruto Birthdays
by Kumi Akatmatsu Moonstone
Summary: Ok so the title pretty much says it but me and Konan are hosting strange,funny and just plain wrong birthdays for every naruto character. R
1. Kisame

Naruto Birthday's

Kumi: Ok so this is my first naruto fanfic.....basicly I'm holding a birthday party for each and every Naruto Character. I'm going to be in all of these stories so you don't get confused I DON'T OWN NARUTO!!!!

__________________________________________________________________

Kisame's Birthday

Kumi's POV

I woke up to the horrid sound of my alarm clock going offf,I banged down on the button hard and sat up. I took a look at my calander and smiled evily today was the day the Kisame Hoshigake hated out of all the days......his birthday. "Wake up! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! DEIDARA-KUN!" I shouted while jumping on his back "MMMMMMM Kumi, what are you doing up this early un?" he asked still half asleep "Get up you big idiot, today is Kisame-san's Birthday!!!" I cheered. This woke Deidara up and in a flash we were both bounching up and down "Today is kisame's birthday! Today is kisame's birthday!" we both sang. Then Sasori-danna woke up, "Ugh, what are you two morons doing up at five o'clock in the morning?" he asked while sitting up slightly dazed. I did a backflip from me and Deidara's bed to his "Sasori-danna today is Kisame-san's birthday!" I sang. He shot up fast enough to send me flying off his bed and back into Dei-kun's arms. He kissed my forehead and all three of us stood in the center of the room, "Ok so whats the plan then Kumi-chan?" Deidara asked, "Ok, here's what we're gonna do, Sasori you get the others up except for Kisame, Deidara you and tobi get Kisame out of the house before he wakes up......I'll stall Itahci as well, knowing that moron he'll spill the whole plan to Kisame before it happens." I said, "Ok, but how do we sneak him out of the base without him waking him up un?" Deidara asked, "I've gotta a body bag in the closet, sneak him out with that."I said, "Ok, so I'll get Tobi up and we'll get started un." he said. Deidara walked out the door with Sasori and they started on their mission, I walked over to Pein and Konan's room and knocked on the door, "What is it Kumi-san?" Konan asked, "It's Kisame's birthday get Pein up and meet Sasori in the den, Konan you help me with Itachi." I said, she nodded and closed the door, I could hear her trying to get Pein up, then there was a crash "Great he kicked the wall again." She mumbled, Konan and Pein both walked out the door and Konana followed me to Itachi's room, I looked out the window and saw Tobi and Dei-kun running down the hill with Kisame in the body bag, "OK, Deidara and Tobi got rid of Kisame and now we gotta get rid of in here." I said, she nodded and we put our hands together "Transform." we said, I turned into Itachi's mom and Konana turned into his dad. We both quickly and quietly entered his room, we both went to work on him the second we got to his bed, we put him in a Sailor Moon costume that was made to look like his Akatsuki outfit, we put his hair into two ponytails on the side of his head, and lipstick. We picked him up and carried him into the den where the gigantic cake that we're going to put him in waited, "Wow, Itachi won't be happy when he wakes up, are you sure you want to do thus Kumi-san?" Sasori asked while we put him in the cake, "yup ok me and konan are gonna go change." I said. We hurried into her room and put on our special outfits for Kisame's Birthday, I wore a short tank-top stopping only a little bit below my chest and a midnight-blue mini skirt, Konan wore a bright red bikin-top and a blood red mini-skirt, "Wow, Kumi are you sure that you're wearing that outfit just for Kisame's big day?" Konan asked. I blushed "Nope, this outfit is only for today." I said, "Hey you two Kisame's back!" Sasori called. We opened the door and walked out and into the den, we were met by the staring eyes of the guys. "What the heck are you two doing in those outfits?" Kisame asked from the chair in which he was tied to "And now ladies and freaks we present to Kisame Hoshigake the greatest birthday cake in the whole wide world!" we announced. I could hear Kisame mummble "oh no." "Tobi bring in the cake!" I said, he came in wheeling the gigantic cake that said "HAPPY 26TH BIRTHDAY FISH STICK!" Kisame looked like he was ready to die, "And now for the main event SAILOR ITACHI!!!!!" we said. Right on que itachi woke up and popped out of the top of the cake, Kisame looked like this O.O when he saw his partner "What the- wait why am I in this silly costume?!" Itachi asked, everyone except for Itachi and Kisame broke out into a hysterical laughter and started taking pictures for their Myspace pages,Facebook pages and Ebay. Then we started the party......too make a long story short Tobi got high off of cake and started running around screaming, Hidan tried to kill me, Itachi sat on the floor and cried (he got high as well). So Kisame won't want anymore birthdays at least while I'm still living.

_________________________________________________________________

Kumi&Konan: That party was soooooo wicked! this is the link for the pic of Sailor Itachi! .com/images?hl=en&q=Sailor+Itachi&gbv=2&aq=f&oq=. R&R!!!!!


	2. why me?

Naruto Birthdays

Kumi: All right! Well this story is doin pretty good so far……….. up nxt is –opens an envelope…….ME!!!!!???? what the-?

Konan: Yay! I'm going to love this!!!

Both: Kumi doesn't own Naruto or Twilight. Cookies to reviewers plz R&R!!!!!!!!

Me

Kumi's POV:

I woke up because I heard screaming coming from Tobi's room "Ugh, Deidara-kun Tobi is awake." I grumbled, he groaned from under the covers "He's your responsibility un." He said while sitting up dizzily "Not today, I checked on him yesterday." I said. I could hear him curse under his breath while he walked out of the room, I got up stretched and stood up, me and Dei-kun have been married for about a year now and how did Tobi take that? He acts like a flipping two year old every morning so that he can get attention. Deidara came back soaking wet in baby milk "Ha ha, I take it didn't go well." I said while making up the bed, Deidara walking into the bathroom and I could hear the shower start, I smiled-pleased at our now made bed- walked over to the wall and looked at the calendar (for all reading this to imagine my scream just hold a blow horn to your ears and then a screeching monkey) "AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD NO NO NO NO NOT TODAY~!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, then Deidara burst out in a towel and was dripping wet "Kumi, are you ok what happened un?" he asked, I was sitting on the floor below the calendar rocking back and forth and was banging my head against the wall "Kumi are you ok un?" he asked sitting down next to me. I pointed up at the calendar and Dei-kun looked at it, then he smiled wickedly "No Deidara please not a party, please I beg of you." I said. He shook his head, went to the bathroom and came back wearing some clothes, "I'm sorry Kumi-chan but we have to do this…SASORI GET IN HERE UN!!!!!!!" he said. Then Sasori walked in the door "Yeah, oh is today Kumi's birthday?" he asked. Deidara nodded and Sasori came and picked me up and threw me over his shoulder "NO!!!!! SASORI PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT OR SO HELP ME I'M GONNA KICK YOU SO FAR WHEN YOU COME BACK IT'LL BE THE YEAR 2133!!!!" I said, he laughed, shoved me in a body bag and I could feel myself being lifted up by him and another guy and taking out the building "AGH! LET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!" I screamed, I punched and kicked and did my all to break out of the bag, I felt something strike me and then I blacked out.

Deidara's POV

I watched as Sasori and Itachi took Kumi far away from here, she is soooo going to kill me "Man she's hot when she's pissed un." I said, then Kisame walked into the room "Is Kumi gone?" he asked, I nodded "Yup you got the stuff un?" I asked. He nodded and emptied out the contents of the bag he was carrying. In the bag were: one can on silly string, cake mix, chocolate icing, a clown suit (Kumi has a fear of clowns), a bag of spiders and of course a GIAGANTIC plastic centipede. "Kumi is soooo going to kill us after this party." Kisame said. "I know but hey she's my wife un." I said. He nodded, put the items back in the bag and we both went into the kitchen and met our workers "Ok, so knowing Kumi she'll probably break out of Sasori's and Itachi's clutches and will be back here soon so we've gotta make this cake before then ok un." I said. They all nodded and we got to work, we made a gigantic cake and filled it with the plastic spiders, silly strings, and the centipede, Kisame put on the clown suit and hid in the closet and would wait for the signal to pop out and scare the crap outta Kumi. Then we heard screaming coming from outside the hideout door, "Well, Kumi's back and by the sounds of it she's pissed." Zetsu said. "Ok places everybody!" I yelled, we all hid in our assigned spots and waited for Kumi to come inside.

Kumi's POV

I was chasing Sasori and Itachi back into the base "YOU TWO ARE SO DEAD WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled, they screamed like the little girls they were, when I got into the base all the lights were off "WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY!?!?!!?!?!" I called into the utter darkness, just then the lights popped on and everybody popped out of their hiding spaces including Kisame who was dressed like a clown, (remember her first scream? Well to get the idea of this one just multiply the first one by about 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and you'll get it.) I screamed as loud as I could when I saw Kisame I was terrified of clowns (don't ask why). "Ha ha surprise Kumi-chan!" Deidara said with a smile on his face, oh man is he dead. "Deidara you did this?" I asked through gritted teeth, he nodded and led me to a huge cake "Wow! It looks soooooooo pretty!" I said, I began to cut a piece when the whole thing blew up in my face, silly string and plastic bugs came flying out of the cake and hit me head on. "AGH!!!! DEIDARA! YOU ARE SOOO TOAST!" I scream as I begin to chase him all around the base and repeatlly beating him on the head with a stick. Five hours later I came back with a badly beaten Deidara on my arms "WHO ELSE HELPED?" I asked, the room cleared so fast that even the mess disappeared, that night I put on my pjs and got in my bed, I looked up at the ceiling to see my Dei-kun strapped to the ceiling "Goodnight sweetie." I said. He whimpered and I fell asleep. The End

Kumi: that's why I don't like my birthday


	3. tobi's death

**Naruto Birthdays**

**Kumi: Yes I am Kumi-san! R&R**

**____________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**Tobi's POV**

**Me woke up to a bright and shiny new day. Me looked at the chart with the months and numbers on it (calendar) "Yay today Tobi's birthday!" me squealed. Me jumped out of bed and ran down the hall screaming at the top of me lungs. **

**__________________________________**

**Kumi's POV**

**I had just finished taking my shower and putting on my clothes when I heard Tobi screaming at the top of his God-given lungs. I was still pissed from the party that Deidara chose to throw for me last month and his punishment was that he couldn't stay in our room for one month so he bunks with Tobi again, and by the sounds of the screaming and bashing going on I could tell it wasn't going well. "Tobi! Your not being a good boy by screaming like that, it's making Kumi-chan very very angry." I called he squealed and apologized I nodded and went to get dressed, when I came out Tobi was in a huge pile and was covered in ash and Deidara was in leader-sama's office. I looked at Sasori and he nodded, we're going to plan Tobi's b-day "Hey Tobi how about you and I go on a little walk." Sasori said the high freak nodded and they both walked out of the base, I ran into the TV room to meet the others "Is Tobi gone yet?" the white side of Zetsu asked "Of course he's gone you idiot." the black side snapped. Then they started arguing with each other. "Ok so this is what we need a set of clown suits (Tobi hates clowns), snakes, a dead cat, poison, and lye." I said (we're trying to kill him) they nodded and we all went to get the stuff they needed. I began to make the poison cake while the others got dressed, we put the snakes in the cake and then me and Konan put on our clown suits and we all waited for Tobi and Sasori to come back. We heard the door open and Tobi's squeal when he saw the cake. We all jumped out and screamed (we're dressed like zombie clowns) we all ran and pounced on Tobi and began to punch and kick him while he screamed and shouted. "Hee heeheeeheee Happy Birthday you crazy hyper freak!" we all screamed he looked around and when he saw the cake he jumped up and began to eat the cake. Then he passed out from the poison we all danced around his body cheering and playing party games when the party was over we quickly buried Tobi's body and we all went to bed.**

**THE END**

**____________________________________**

**Kumi: heeheeeheee we killed tobi **


End file.
